E-Dogging

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When you try to jack off in a voice chat and everyone can hear you, like you’re a bad DJ at a funeral.

Yo, I was trying to get my wood, and all of a sudden, I heard someone go, 'What the hell is that?'

I was in the middle of a game and someone went, 'Is that a dog?'

I tried to have some fun, and now everyone knows my business.

A fancy word for the guys who clean up after the fancy officers who think they're the boss, and the officers think they're gods.

'You're just a dog, Ethan.' 'I'll show you dog.'

The officer said, 'You're just a dog.' I said, 'I don't have to take that from you, you overgrown pencil.'

They called me a dog, so I ran into the mess hall and stole a sandwich.

The car that looks like it came from the future, but it’s just a car that costs more than your soul.

My uncle drives that Eldorado like it's the last car on Earth.

I saw that car and thought, 'That’s not a car, that’s a spaceship.'

My dad said, 'I paid $50,000 for that thing, and it still smells like a cigar shop.'

You look like a fella who thinks he's slick, but you're just a white guy who can't dance.

My cousin said, 'You're pretty fly, but I still think you're a dweeb.'

He walked in and said, 'I’m pretty fly for a white guy.' I said, 'You're just pretty average.'

My friend said, 'You're pretty fly, but I'm still better.'

A god so powerful, he stares down the mortals and makes you feel like a kid who just got grounded.

I looked into the sun for too long, and now I can't sleep.

The sun looked at me like I owed him money.

I tried to look into the sun and now my eyes hurt like a motherfucker.

A guy with an ugly name, a worse haircut, and the confidence of a man who thinks he's a god, but he's just a guy who thinks he's hot.

Ethan walked in, looked at me, and said, 'I’m the E-Dog, and you're just a nobody.'

Eric came in, said, 'I'm the E-Dog, and you're just a nobody, and you're ugly.'

Ebenezer walked in and said, 'I'm the E-Dog, and I'm going to take your lunch money.'

A guy who streams games, plays saxophone, and hides in bushes just to talk to no one.

He hides in bushes and talks to no one like he’s doing a spy mission.

He plays the saxophone and hides in bushes just to annoy people.

He’s the E-Dog, and he hides in bushes for no reason.