e-coma
You vanish from the internet like a ghost then pop back in with a bang, scaring everyone with your sudden return from an e-coma.
I didn't see a single post for a month then showed up with a rant about my cat's bad hair day.
He went MIA on the forum for weeks then dropped a 500-word essay about why pizza is the worst food ever.
She logged off for two days then came back with a photo of her dog wearing a tiny crown and a caption that said 'royalty here.'
xs