d.a.p.s.

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D. A. P. S. is when you slap your butt so hard you dry the inside of your ass with pure rage.

You forgot to say I look hot in my new dress. I slapped my ass so hard I could’ve dried the Sahara.

He didn’t text back when I sent 12 messages. I did 10 D. A. P. S. in the shower.

She called me a donkey in front of my friends. I did a D. A. P. S. so loud the neighbors called the cops.

Dry Angry Pussy Syndrome is when your lady parts get so mad they shut down and leave you high and dry.

He said I looked like a raccoon in my pajamas. I got DAPS so bad I forgot to brush my teeth.

He ignored my 30 texts. I went to bed with DAPS and woke up with a headache.

He said my cooking was worse than his ex’s. I got DAPS so strong I could’ve fried an egg on my face.