Dago Red

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A cheap wine made by Italians who think they're fancy, but it's just grape juice that hits you like a brick wall and makes you yell at your uncle.

My cousin drank Dago Red and fell off the couch screaming, 'I'm not a loser!'

I brought Dago Red to the party and everyone left because it tasted like regret.

My grandma says Dago Red is 'the wine of the poor, but it's still better than your dad's beer.'

The worst red wine you can find, usually bought with a coupon and drunk by people who think they're tough.

I drank Dago Red and my face turned red like a tomato. My dog ran away.

My friend's dad drinks Dago Red every night and still thinks he's a rockstar.

Dago Red is so bad, it makes your breath smell like a garbage can.