Daffakanism
Daffakanism is a stupid religion where people get eaten by big floating blobs called Daffakas. They come from Upton, Massachusetts, and they hate cubicle workers. They also hate angry Scotsmen, crossing guards, and 5-string banjos, don’t ask why.
My mom said she’s gonna join a Daffaka if she doesn’t stop arguing with the mailman.
My neighbor got devoured by a Daffaka because he forgot to bring snacks.
I told my boss he was gonna get eaten by a Daffaka if he didn’t stop talking to his plants.