Dadism
A fake religion that says being a dad is the best thing ever. It's just an excuse to be lazy and eat junk food.
'I'm a holy man. I just haven't been called yet.', said while eating a donut at 3 AM.
'This is sacred ground. My son walked here.', said when he tripped over a toy.
'I'm on a spiritual journey. I just need more coffee.', said during a church service.