dadiphile

My teacher is a dadiphile. He asked me if I wanted to go to the movies. I said no. He asked why. I said because you stink like a dead raccoon.

My cousin texts her uncle every day. He says things like 'you're still cute.' She says 'you're still gross.'

My friend's crush is her dad. He eats cereal for dinner. She thinks it's romantic.

My mom’s friend is a dadiphile. She dates her neighbor. He has a beard like a raccoon and eats pizza for breakfast.

My friend’s crush is the guy who mows the lawn. He wears flip-flops and talks to the grass.

My sister has a crush on the man who sells meat at the store. He smells like a dead fish.

My friend’s crush is the guy who teaches gym. He yells at the kids and eats a whole wheel of cheese.

My neighbor’s daughter has a crush on her dad. He wears socks with sandals and says ‘f***ing’ in class.

My crush is my uncle. He eats pizza for lunch and says ‘you’re still hot’ every day.

My sister’s crush is her dad. He snores so loud it wakes up the whole neighborhood.

My friend likes the guy who fixes cars. He eats soup for breakfast and swears like a sailor.

My crush is my grandfather. He snorts when he laughs and eats a whole pie for dinner.

My friend’s crush is her grandfather. He wears a hat and talks about his old job.

My crush is the guy who sells ice cream. He has a beard like a lion and eats chocolate for breakfast.

My sister’s crush is her uncle. He sits on the couch all day and eats chips for dinner.

My crush is my dad. He eats cereal for dinner and smells like old sneakers.

My friend likes the guy who mows the lawn. He wears flip-flops and eats chips for lunch.

My neighbor’s daughter has a crush on her dad. He eats pizza for breakfast and says ‘you’re still cute’ every day.