Daddy's Butter

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A fancy name for Nutella that your dad hoards like treasure because he thinks it's the last thing left on Earth and he's too cheap to buy more.

"I ate the last spoonful of Nutella, and now I'm gonna die from dad hunger.", @DadFoodLover

"Nutella is my life. You can't take it from me.", Dad in the basement

"He eats it with a fork like it's a crime.", My mom, watching my dad eat Nutella at 3 a. m.

A sticky, chocolatey mess that comes out of a dad’s mouth after he eats too much Nutella and then yells at you for eating it too.

"That’s not Nutella, that’s daddy’s butter and it’s gonna stain your shirt.", Dad, after I spilled it on my shirt

"He eats it like it’s gonna die.", My brother, watching dad eat Nutella

"Daddy’s butter is the reason I hate weekends.", Me, after a Nutella-fueled dad rant