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A man with a beard so thick it could start a war. He's got more facial hair than a raccoon on meth. You'll probably beg for mercy during sex and call him daddy even if he's never held a kid.
My uncle's beard is so full of dirt and beer it looks like a prison riot happened on his face.
I tried to kiss him and ended up choking on his beard. It was like eating a sandwich made of dirt and rage.
He walks in and I instantly know why my mom left him. That beard is a beast.