Daddy sex

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1
When a guy who looks like your grandpa hits it off with your kid and you’re just there to watch the chaos. Often involves fake grandpa glasses and a lot of screaming.
My dad came home with a guy who looked like he could bench-press my uncle. I asked if he was my new grandpa. He said, 'No, you're my new grandpa.'
My brother said his teacher was his 'daddy' and now he's getting extra credit for being a good student. I think he's just trying to pass the class.
My cousin's boyfriend walks in wearing a suit and a wig. My cousin says, 'Daddy’s here.' I said, 'You’re both getting kicked out of the house.'
2
What a little brat calls their old man when they’re getting their jollies and the old man is just trying to survive.
My little brother texted me: 'Daddy, can I come over? I need your help with my homework. And also my life.'
My neighbor’s kid ran up to him screaming, 'Daddy, the monster is coming!' He said, 'I'm not a monster. I'm your dad.' The kid said, 'Then why are you wearing a cape?'
My cousin's kid said, 'Daddy, I love you.' My cousin said, 'I love you too, but I also love my sleep.'
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