daddy sakurai

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1
The ultimate king of Smash Bros. He’s so good, he could make a duck hunt dog playable and balanced. Nobody messes with him or he’ll give you a holy ass-whooping.
Dad Sakurai is the only reason I still play Smash Bros. He’s like a god with a controller in his hand.
If Sakurai didn’t balance the game, I’d be crying in a corner with a broken controller.
I pray to Sakurai every time I lose to Snake.
2
The almighty father of Nintendo. He made Smash Bros and Pink Nut Ball. He’s so powerful, he could make a dog from Duck Hunt into a god.
Sakurai is the reason I still believe in gods. And also in Pink Nut Ball.
If Sakurai didn’t exist, I’d be playing a game with a dog from Duck Hunt.
I’d worship Sakurai if he gave me a free game.
3
The prophet of Smash Bros. He’s the one who made it possible for characters to be balanced. If he wasn’t around, the game would be a disaster and I’d be screaming in frustration.
Sakurai is the only reason I don’t rage-quit every match.
I’d follow Sakurai anywhere. Even if he made me play against Snake.
If Sakurai didn’t balance the game, I’d be crying in the corner with a broken controller.
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