Daddy Pants

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The king of all ass-kickers. The person who makes you wish you had a time machine so you could hide from them.

My mom said, 'You just wait till your dad gets home!' and I ran to the garage.

At school, the principal said, 'You just wait till your dad gets home!' and I cried.

My brother said, 'You just wait till your dad gets home!' and I got a detention.

Pants so loose they look like they were made for a ghost with a bad attitude.

My pants looked like they belonged to a grandma who had a second life as a zombie.

My pants were so saggy, they could have been used as a net to catch fish.

My pants were so loose, I could have worn them as a hat and still looked cool.

A love that’s like a one-way street. You’re the one doing all the driving, and the other person is just walking in the middle of the road.

I tried to ask her out, and she said, 'I like you, but I’m not going to put in the work.'

He was always the one texting me first, and I just sat there like a potato.

I had a crush on him for a year, and he didn’t even know my name.