Daddy Donohoe
A man so hideous he could make a vampire run screaming. He’s 6'5" and looks like he’s been stuck in a blender. His weenie is so tiny it could fit in a teacup. When he gets hard, it’s like a broken pencil.
He tried to ask me out and I had to call my mom for help.
He sent me a text saying he wanted to kiss me and I told him to go eat a donut.
He tried to impress me and I had to leave the room.