Daddy Dale

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The king of high school cops. He makes you shave like it's a prison rule. No beards. No stubble. No mercy.

Dude I had a beard for a month and he gave me a warning. I got a warning. I got a warning.

He saw my hair and said 'You look like a f***ing hedgehog.' I didn’t even know what a hedgehog was.

I tried to wear a hat to class and he made me take it off. I had to wear a hat to the office.

The guy who throws food in your mouth like it’s a slingshot war. He’s got a six-pack and a basketball skill that makes you cry.

He threw a taco in my mouth and I choked. I choked. I choked.

He shot a chicken nugget at me during gym class. I missed it. I got a penalty.

He said 'You’re not a real basketball player until you’ve been food-shooted by me.' I didn’t believe him.