Daddy Butter
Gross sticky stuff that old men make when they try to be cool. It tastes like regret and old pizza. You get it by sitting in a basement and pretending to be friends with your dad for hours.
My dad made daddy butter again. I had to eat it. I threw up.
I went to the basement with my dad. He said it was for the ritual. I ran away.
Daddy butter is like the worst breakfast food ever. It tastes like my grandpa's socks.