DaDangDang
A DaDangDang is someone who thinks the moon is a conspiracy and that every animal has a secret. They’re the reason ‘da dang dang’ sounds like a group of monkeys fighting a toaster.
My uncle’s a DaDangDang. He told me that squirrels are spies from the government.
My dad’s a DaDangDang. He tried to train a goat to juggle and it bit him.
My grandma’s a DaDangDang. She thinks a microwave is a portal to another dimension.