Dada man
A name for guys who act like they're perfect, but really they're just pretending and probably failed life.
Dada man, you said you'd be here in 10 minutes. It's been 2 hours and you're still eating chips.
Dada man, you're not even a real man. You're just a man who thinks he's a dad.
Dada man, you're like a broken toaster. You don't work, but you still try to make toast.