Dad Missile

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A beer so weak it makes your dad look like a baby. Dads and fake dads chug this because it’s like drinking water with a hint of regret.

My dad drinks this every night. It’s like he’s trying to forget he’s 50.

Stepdad called it 'the liquid of shame.' I believe him.

I once tried it. Now I live in regret. Probably forever.

The only beer dad would ever drink if he had a choice. It’s like a beer for people who don’t want to feel alive.

Dad said, 'I’d rather die than drink a regular beer.' I believe him.

Stepdad drinks this so he doesn’t have to remember his name.

This beer is so bad, it’s good.

A beer that tastes like a dad’s excuse for not doing chores. Dads drink it because it’s the only thing that doesn’t make them feel guilty.

Dad drinks this because he’s too lazy to feel guilty.

Stepdad called it 'the beer of excuses.' I think he’s right.

This beer is the reason I don’t do my homework.