dad friend
The guy your dad brings over and acts like he's your uncle, but he's just there to flirt with your mom and try to flirt with you.
He came over and said, 'I see you've grown up,' and then asked me if I wanted to 'help him with something', which I knew meant he wanted to help me with something else.
He said, 'You're just like your mom when she was your age,' and then asked me if I wanted to 'talk about it', which I knew meant he wanted to talk about me.
He said, 'I used to be just like you,' and then asked me if I wanted to 'have a chat', which I knew meant he wanted to have a chat with my body.