Dachshound
A long, smelly dog that acts like it’s royalty. It’s got a chip on its shoulder and a mouth full of hate. It’s not a dog. It’s a badger’s worst nightmare.
My dog sat on my laptop like it owned the place.
It barked at the mailman like he was a thief.
It took a nap on my pizza. That’s not a nap. That’s a crime.