Da ist ein Waschbär hinter dir

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The ultimate way to tell someone they're so ugly a raccoon is watching them from behind just to laugh.

My cousin said that to me after I tried to do a TikTok dance in front of the whole school.

My ex said it to me when I walked into the restaurant wearing pajamas and a hat made of socks.

My dad said it to me when I tried to explain why I failed math again.

A raccoon is behind you, and it’s judging your life choices.

My teacher said it to me when I showed up in class with a sandwich and a sleep mask on.

My brother said it to me when I tried to take over his video game.

My mom said it to me when I told her I was quitting my job to become a dog walker.

When you’re so embarrassing that even a raccoon feels the need to hide from you.

My friend said it to me after I tried to sing a whole song in the middle of a quiet library.

My neighbor said it to me when I yelled at a cat for knocking over my coffee.

My crush said it to me when I showed up to our first date with a backpack full of snacks and a pet turtle.

The raccoon is watching you because your life is too messy for it to ignore.

My mom said it to me when I came home with a broken phone and a pizza box on my head.

My dad said it to me when I tried to explain why I had three different jobs.

My friend said it to me when I showed up to our game night with a fish in a bag.

A raccoon is behind you because your face is so bad it’s making it sad.

My teacher said it to me when I tried to do a presentation with a glitter explosion in my hair.

My sister said it to me when I showed up wearing socks as gloves.

My crush said it to me when I tried to text them with my feet.

You're so weird even a raccoon is hiding from you in fear.

My friend said it to me when I tried to talk to the plants in my house.

My dad said it to me when I started wearing my mom's lipstick to school.

My neighbor said it to me when I showed up with a chicken in my backpack.