da hoff

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#loud#deaf#handjob

4 views · Added 16d ago · 6 definitions

1
A guy who’s got the hand strength of a brick and can’t hear anything worse than a loud fart, so he needs those tiny ear things to even notice you’re talking.
He walked into the room and missed the entire conversation because he was too busy pretending he wasn’t being yelled at.
Tried to whisper a secret and ended up screaming it in my face.
He asked me to repeat myself three times because he thought I was messing with him.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
2
A human who’s got a hand like a vice and ears that work like a broken radio, needing little gadgets to even catch half of what’s being said.
He said he was going to take a nap, then started snoring so loud I had to text him to shut up.
He asked me if I was talking to him or just talking to myself.
He tried to explain a joke and it came out as a rant about how he hates Mondays.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
3
A man who gives handjobs like he’s trying to rip your arm off and can’t hear a thing unless he’s wearing those tiny ear things.
He said he was going to be quiet, then yelled my name from across the room.
He didn’t realize I was talking to him because he was too busy thinking about lunch.
He asked me to repeat the same sentence five times because he thought I was being dramatic.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
4
A guy who’s got the hand strength of a construction worker and ears that are so bad he needs little machines to even hear you.
He said he was going to be nice, then screamed my name like I’d stolen his lunch money.
He thought I was being sarcastic when I was just being polite.
He asked me if I was talking to him or just talking to the wall.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
5
A human being who gives handjobs like he’s trying to murder your arm and can’t hear anything unless he’s wearing those tiny ear devices.
He said he was going to be quiet, then started yelling about how he hates everything.
He asked me to repeat the same thing three times because he thought I was messing with him.
He thought I was talking to him, but I was just talking to myself.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
6
A guy who has the hand strength of a bear and ears that work like a broken speaker, needing those tiny ear things just to barely hear.
He said he was going to be calm, then started screaming about how the coffee was too hot.
He asked me if I was being serious or just being weird.
He thought I was talking to him, but I was just talking to the ceiling.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
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