d-machine

My cousin is a d-machine. He eats pizza for breakfast and still talks to his mom like she's his servant.

That guy in line at the burger place is a d-machine. He tried to cut in front of me and called me a 'dweeb.'

My boss is a d-machine. He wears a tie every day and still doesn't know how to use a computer.

My friend is a d-machine. He decided to eat a whole pizza by himself and then cried because he got a stomachache.

My neighbor is a d-machine. He painted his house pink and then blamed the paint for his bad mood.

My brother is a d-machine. He tried to ride a bike without training wheels and fell into a puddle.

My teacher is a d-machine. She thinks she's the best at everything, but she still can't do long division.

My dad is a d-machine. He tried to fix the TV and now it's broken forever.

My friend's cousin is a d-machine. He tried to be a rock star and now he just sings in the shower.

My uncle is a d-machine. He smokes cigars and talks loud enough to wake the dead.

My friend's brother is a d-machine. He eats soup with a fork and still thinks he's cool.

My cousin's friend is a d-machine. He wears a hat inside and still thinks he's the best.

My neighbor is a d-machine. He tried to make a sandwich and used three kinds of cheese and still called it 'basic.'

My friend's dad is a d-machine. He wears a suit every day and still can't tie his shoes.

My teacher's brother is a d-machine. He tried to be a magician and now he just jumbles up cards.