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My mom showed up at my college dorm with a cake and a screaming toddler.

She called my dad and told him I was ‘a disgrace’ and that ‘he should be ashamed’.

She texted me at 2 AM saying ‘I saw your ex and she was eating pizza and I was eating cereal and I was crying’.

She told me to ‘just marry the first guy who asks’ and brought me a whole bag of chips.

She came to my job interview and said ‘you’re going to fail’ but also brought me a sandwich.

She texted me during my exam saying ‘the cake is ready’ and I almost cried.

She made me eat cereal for dinner and said ‘you’ll thank me later’ and I didn’t.

She told my crush I was ‘a total disaster’ and then told me I was ‘a total disaster’ again.

She sent me a voice note at 3 AM that was 12 minutes long and mostly about her ex’s new cat.

She showed up at my wedding and yelled ‘I told you so’ to my dad.

She sent me a 500-word email about my uncle’s new job and my cousin’s new haircut.

She called me during my break and said ‘you’re going to die alone’ and I believe her.

She texted me during my final exam and said ‘I just got a perfect score on my math test and I’m going to be rich one day.’

She told my teacher that I was ‘a total disappointment’ and that ‘the class should be ashamed of me.’

She called my crush and told him I was ‘a total disaster’ and that ‘he should be ashamed of me too.’

She fought my uncle for a parking spot at the mall and then cried about it for three days.

She called my friend’s dad and said ‘he’s taking my spot’ and then called me and said ‘he’s a total disaster’.

She texted me during my test and said ‘I saw your teacher and she was eating a sandwich and I was eating cereal and I was crying.’