a**h**e safety-net

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#annoying#gods#survival

1 views · Added 5d ago · 5 definitions

1
Bringing along the most annoying person you know on dangerous trips so the mean gods won't kill you. They like jerks, so they leave you alone.
Bringing my loud cousin to a rockslide zone because he's loud enough to scare the rocks.
Going to war with my smelly uncle because he smells like death and the gods won't touch me.
Flying with my sister who talks nonstop on the plane. The gods are too busy listening to her to kill me.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
2
You take the worst person with you on dangerous trips because they’re so bad, the universe spares you.
Going to the beach with my dad who always gets eaten by sharks. The sharks leave me alone because they hate my dad.
Taking my neighbor to a fire zone because he’s a pyromaniac. The fire skips me.
Going on a road trip with my brother who yells at everything. The road trip is easy because everything’s scared of him.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
3
You drag a real-life nightmare with you on dangerous trips so you don’t get killed. The gods don’t want to hurt you because they hate the nightmare more.
Taking my grandma to a zombie attack because she yells at the zombies. The zombies run away.
Going to the mountains with my brother who thinks he’s a mountain. The mountain doesn’t fall on me.
Going to a flood with my cousin who’s a total waterboy. The water leaves me alone because it hates him.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
4
You always take the most obnoxious person with you on dangerous trips because the universe hates them more than it hates you.
Going to the ocean with my friend who screams at the waves. The waves leave me alone.
Going to a volcano with my brother who talks to the lava. The lava doesn’t burn me.
Taking my mom to a tornado because she sings to it. The tornado skips me.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
5
You take the most annoying person on dangerous trips so the universe avoids you because it hates them even more.
Going to a hurricane with my dad who shouts at the wind. The wind doesn’t hit me.
Going to a fire with my uncle who talks to the flames. The fire goes easy on me.
Taking my sister to a rockslide because she’s loud enough to scare the rocks away.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
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