A'bellend

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3 views · Added 16d ago · 3 definitions

1
A walking lie machine who thinks he’s a hero but can’t hear you when you yell at him. He insults everyone he meets and still acts like he’s saving the world.
He said he’d fix the economy, then forgot the word 'economy' when I asked him about it.
He called me a 'dear friend' after he broke my nose.
He promised free pizza for everyone, but it was just a lie and a cheap slice.
2
A man who lies so much he thinks it’s a hobby. He can’t hear a thing and won’t stop talking about how great he is.
He told me he’d bring a sandwich, but it was just a bagel and he called it a ‘sandwich of destiny.’
He yelled at me for 10 minutes because he couldn’t hear me and thought I was a ‘troublemaker.’
He promised to end the war, but he started a fight with a donut.
3
A guy who lies to everyone and thinks he’s the best thing since sliced bread. He can’t hear you and has no idea what he’s talking about.
He said he’d give me a raise, but it was just a raise in price for a lousy donut.
He called me a ‘noble citizen’ after he stole my lunch money.
He told the whole country he’d fix everything, but he couldn’t fix his own voice.
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