A Yusuf
Yusuf is the guy who everyone loves but doesn't realize he's the reason they're all broke. He's nice, but he'll take your last dollar just to buy a sandwich.
'I'll loan you $5, but only if you promise to never take my chicken sandwich.'
'I don't need money, I just need your love and your sandwich.'
'I'm not greedy, I'm just very good at math.'