A Wounded Impala

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A person who feels like their insides were smashed with a hammer after chugging rum like it's going out of style

I woke up feeling like I had a goat inside my head. A Wounded Impala.

My roommate looked like he was hit by a truck and then asked for a second round. A Wounded Impala.

I tried to drink rum like it was water. Now I'm a Wounded Impala.

Someone who drank so much rum they're probably related to the bottle now

After that party, I looked like I was born from a rum barrel. A Wounded Impala.

I drank so much rum I think the bottle tried to adopt me. A Wounded Impala.

My head feels like it's on fire and I'm still standing. A Wounded Impala.

A person who drank so much rum they’re probably plotting revenge against the bartender

I'm so mad at that bartender I might take over the bar. A Wounded Impala.

I drank so much rum I'm thinking about starting a gang. A Wounded Impala.

I'm not just hungover, I'm plotting. A Wounded Impala.