a Withered Man

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4 views · Added 17d ago · 4 definitions

1
A dried-up old man who owns a creepy park where kids get scared and adults get annoyed. He eats donuts like it’s his full-time job and doesn’t give a damn about anyone.
"I bet Mr. Withers hasn’t had a good day since 1992."
"That old guy at the bar is probably the reason the park is haunted."
“If Withers had a donut for every kid who cried in that park, he’d be a donut billionaire.”
2
A funny way to call some old stranger who looks like they’ve been sitting in a hot tub for 50 years.
"That guy at the bus stop is a withered man. He probably hasn’t smiled since the 80s."
“I walked past a withered man who was yelling at a pigeon. It was a sight to see.”
“My neighbor is a withered man. He’s like a walking fossil.”
3
The longest, most ridiculous metaphor for taking a long time to jerk off, as seen in a movie no one asked for.
"The withered man was a metaphor so long, it made my brain hurt."
“That metaphor was longer than my lunch break.”
“I watched the withered man and now I’m questioning my life choices.”
4
A group of people who all look like they’ve been forgotten by time and probably by their own kids.
"Mikey Crossley is a withered man. He probably forgot his own birthday."
“Claude Taylor is a withered man who still thinks he’s cool.”
“They’re all withered men. They don’t even know what a TikTok is.”
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