A Webster

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8 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
A piece of LulaRoe clothes bought by some dumb couple named Pam and Matt Webster. It’s like wearing a fashion disaster with a side of bad life choices.
That Webster shirt looks like it was bought by someone who thinks being rich is the same as being smart.
I wore my Webster pants to work and my boss asked if I was dressed for a date or a funeral.
My mom bought me a Webster hoodie and now I can’t leave the house without people whispering about my fashion IQ.
2
When you take someone’s insult, turn it into a question, and throw it back at them so loud it feels like they’re getting yelled at by a toddler with a megaphone.
You said I was ugly. I asked, 'Is that why you’re still single?' and then shouted it at you like you were a kid who broke my favorite cup.
He called me a failure. I said, 'Is that why you’re still working at the gas station?' and then gave him the side-eye like he was my ex.
She told me I was a waste of space. I replied, 'Is that why you’re still living with your mom?' and then walked away like I just won a fight.
3
A hot guy who looks like he just stepped out of a beauty commercial and got hired by a construction crew just so they could look good while they smashed things.
That Webster guy walks in and all the workers stop working just to look at him like he’s a celebrity.
He’s the only one on the construction site who doesn’t look like he’s been through a war.
He’s the reason the boss lets him take lunch breaks instead of actually working.
4
A dictionary that’s so boring it makes the Bible look fun and the Beatles sound like they’re singing through a kazoo.
I opened the Webster dictionary and I almost fell asleep before the first word.
My teacher made me read from the Webster and now I hate words forever.
I used the Webster for my homework and got a C because it was too boring to be useful.
5
A guy who looks like he’s been sculpted by a mad fitness trainer and is probably the reason the other workers have a hard time concentrating.
That Webster guy works out so much he probably thinks he’s a superhero.
He’s so ripped he could probably bench-press my entire family.
He’s the kind of guy who makes you wonder why you even bother working out.
6
The second best place to look up weird words, but still better than trying to figure it out from the internet.
UrbanDictionary is cool, but Webster is like the cool older brother who still remembers your birthday.
I used UrbanDictionary once and it confused me. Now I use Webster and it’s like having a friend explain things.
UrbanDictionary is for kids. Webster is for people who still remember how to use a real book.
7
When your body looks like it was built by a god who also has a personal trainer and a side job as a bodybuilder.
That guy is so well-defined he probably has a six-pack and a personality.
She’s got abs so defined you could probably write a poem on them.
He’s so ripped he could probably break a chair just by looking at it.
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