a vidar
Vidar has a cock so big it looks like it’s gonna break the universe. He’s so attractive, he’ll steal your girl and make her look like a fool on Pornhub.
Vidar just walked in, and my girl’s eyes went wide. I know what’s coming.
My girl started talking about Vidar like he’s the best thing since sliced bread. I’m dead.
Vidar and my girl are now a couple. I’ve been replaced by a cock god.