My boy sent me a photo of his cock and said, 'Check this out, man.' I said, 'That’s not check this out, that’s check this out and then call a plumber.'

My sister sent me a pic of her junk and said it was 'the gift that keeps on giving.' I said, 'It’s more like the gift that needs a garbage truck.'

My dad sent me a photo of his weenie and said, 'This is what you get when you’re a legend.' I said, 'You’re a legend, but your weenie is a disgrace.'