A Tennesse Williams

'So the coffee was bad, but the reason it was bad was because the beans were roasted in a spaceship and the barista had a headache from listening to elevator music for eight hours.'

'I got a C on the test because I forgot my pencil, but the pencil was from a different dimension and the teacher was actually a robot pretending to be human.'

'The cat walked into the room, and now I have to explain the history of cats, the moon, and why my socks don't match.'

'Why is the sky blue?' 'Because the sky is mad at the ocean and the clouds are just watching.'

'Did you bring chips?' 'No, but I brought a map of the ocean and a list of my regrets.'

'What time is it?' 'It’s the time of the time, and I’m going to fight you about it.'

'I spilled my juice. The juice was pink. The pink was a sign. The end is near.'

'My sock is missing. That sock was a hero. Now it’s just a sock in exile.'

'The toaster didn’t pop up. The toaster is now in mourning. The bread is crying.'