A SCHROEDER
A Schroeder is when your junk is so hard it looks like it's about to pop, and it stretches your skin so tight it feels like your forehead is getting a face full of ass.
My Schroeder was so bad I looked like I had a chicken on my face.
He had a Schroeder so strong it scared the airport security.
She had a Schroeder so tight it made her brother cry.