A Rick Perry

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#rick perry#forgetful#prayer

5 views · Added 18d ago · 7 definitions

1
When you have a list of three things and you can’t remember what the third one was because you’re too dumb to keep track.
I had my to-do list: eat, sleep, and... wait, what was the third thing? I don’t know, I just prayed about it.
He said he had three things to do: work, play, and... I don’t know, I guess he just prayed it would all go away.
I was supposed to remember three things. I forgot two. I prayed for the third.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
2
A Republican governor who thinks God is the only one who can fix everything, even if that means letting the economy crumble and people starve.
He said the economy was God’s punishment. I said, ‘Well, God must be mad at him.’
He let 234 people get executed, and he didn’t care if they were innocent. He just wanted to make God happy.
He’s against social security, grandma’s money, and he thinks creationism is better than science. He’s a total idiot.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
3
George W. Bush but with more guns, more dumb ideas, and less sense.
He carries a gun everywhere, even when he’s talking to a squirrel. That’s not scary, that’s annoying.
He called a prayer rally for rain, and then the whole state dried up. That’s not a miracle, that’s a disaster.
He got a C in history and a D in economics, but he got an A in military systems. That’s just sad.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
4
The return of George W. Bush, but even more stupid and less smart.
He threatened to leave the country, then took the money and left grandma in the dust.
He said he was going to pray about everything. I said, ‘Just pray harder, maybe it’ll work.’
He’s the second coming of Bush. That’s like the worst sequel ever.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
5
A total copycat of George W. Bush, but with less personality and more dumb ideas.
He’s just another Bush, but even dumber. He’s like the backup plan.
He said ‘Freedum’ and ‘Amurica’ so much, it was annoying. Like, way too much.
He’s just like Bush, but worse. That’s not a compliment, that’s a curse.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
6
A dumb way of trying to have sex, like pulling out and hoping God will take care of the rest.
He pulled out and prayed. That’s not a plan, that’s a disaster.
He said he was going home to pray about it, like that would fix everything.
He pulled out and prayed. That’s not a method, that’s a joke.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
7
When you fart and a Santorum gets stuck in your pants, and you’re too dumb to realize it.
He farted a Santorum into his pants and didn’t even notice. That’s not a mess, that’s a disaster.
He sat down and a Santorum appeared. That’s not a miracle, that’s a mess.
He had a Santorum in his underwear and still thought he was a good governor. That’s just sad.
by Slangipedia 16d ago
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