A Potsticker

My gym class was a potsticker session. I smelled like a wet dog in a sauna.

I looked like a fried chicken leg after that 3-hour workout.

My balls were glued to my thighs so bad, I walked like a turtle.

He stared at the waitress like she was the last dumpling in the world.

He asked the barista if she was from Korea. She said no. He asked if she was from Japan. She said no. He asked if she was Asian. She said no. He cried.

He proposed to a sushi roll. It said no.

The toilet looked like a crime scene after I pooped. There was a trail of poop leading to the wall.

My toilet had a potsticker so big, it looked like a pancake.

The toilet bowl had a potsticker so bad, the next person thought it was a murder.

I looked in the toilet and saw poop confetti. It was glorious.

My toilet bowl had so much potsticker, it looked like a glitter bomb exploded in there.

After I pooped, the bowl looked like a kid spilled glitter all over it.

He shat on her and then asked her to do the same. She said no. He said, 'You're just scared.'

He pooped on her and then said, 'Let's see if you can beat that.'

He sat on her and pooped on her like it was a game show.

She sent me 50 texts after we had sex. I said, 'Are you done yet?' She said, 'No, I'm just getting started.'

She texted me every hour for a week. I got so many messages, my phone died.

She sent me a picture of herself in bed with a message that said, 'I miss you.' I said, 'You just saw me 2 hours ago.'

He picked his nose and then used his fingers to finger her. It was like a nose and a finger had a baby.

He picked his nose and then said, 'I'm giving you a nose massage.'

He had a booger on his finger and used it to finger her. It was like a booger was making out with her.