A Planter
When you stand in a hole that opens up like a bad part of a video game. It’s like the ground is trying to eat you and it doesn’t care if you’re ready or not.
Bro, I was just walking and the ground yanked me under like I owed it money.
I saw the earthquake coming and still got face-planted like I was a dumbass.
That fissure looked like a good spot for a nap, and I paid the price.