A Newton

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5 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

A Newton is a rich town in Massachusetts that’s so fancy, it makes other towns look like slum land. The rich kids there probably think they’re better than you because they’ve never had to eat expired pizza from a gas station.

My cousin moved to Newton and now she talks like she’s in a movie.

I asked my friend if he was from Newton, and he said, 'Duh, I live in a mansion.'

My teacher said Newton is so rich, they have a lake named after their pet goldfish.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A Newton is a town so obsessed with cookies, they made a giant oven just to make one giant cookie. It was so big, it probably took three hours to eat and made the town’s mayor cry because he got cookie crumbs in his suit.

My mom said the Fig Newton is like the cookie version of a superhero.

I saw a picture of the giant cookie and it looked like it could beat up a donut.

My brother said if they made a giant cookie in my town, we’d all eat it and then fight over the crumbs.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

The Newton is when you go to the bathroom and you pee and poop at the same time like you're a broken toilet. It’s not cool unless you do it in front of your crush and they get distracted by your weirdness.

I did The Newton in front of my crush and now she thinks I’m weird.

My dad does The Newton every morning and he doesn’t even care if he smells like a garbage can.

My friend tried to do The Newton and just screamed like a banshee.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A Newton is a unit of force that’s like the math version of a punch to the face. It’s named after a guy who probably got too much credit for stuff he didn’t really do.

My math teacher said Newton is like a genius who got lucky.

I think Newton got all the glory and his friends got stuck with the homework.

My friend said Newton was just a guy who liked to sit under trees and think.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A Newton is a fancy name for a group of people who like to eat pudding and act like they’re important. They probably think they’re royalty just because they go to pancake breakfasts.

My uncle is a Newton and he still thinks he’s a king.

I went to a Newton pancake breakfast and it was more fun than my birthday.

My friend’s mom is a Newton and she wears a crown to the grocery store.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

Newton is that guy in school who’s super popular, always gets in trouble, and still somehow gets the girl. He’s like the king of cool and doesn’t even care if he’s late to class.

My friend said Newton is the reason I got detention.

I think Newton is just a guy who got lucky and never studied.

Newton always gets the girl and then forgets to do his homework.

by Slangipedia 16d ago

A Newton is a unit of force that’s like a math class that never ends. It’s also a cookie that’s just cake with fruit in it, and nobody really cares.

I think Newton is just a guy who made a cookie and got a lot of credit.

My math teacher said Newton was just a guy who liked to sit in the sun and think.

The cookie is just cake and fruit, but Newton made it famous.

by Slangipedia 16d ago