A Mutz
A mutz is a tiny human who can’t grow and is as short as a toilet. They scream at you when you get close, but they’re chill once you buy them pizza. They play hockey like it’s a war and blame their friends for all their bad life choices. Also, a mutz is someone who bakes bread so bad it’s a crime.
That mutz screamed at me for touching his pizza.
He played hockey like it was a fight with his dad.
His bread was so bad, the oven cried.