A Mueller Report
A Mueller Report is like a fart that changes smell every time you let it out. It says one thing at first, then later it says something else, and you never know what it will say next. People still pretend it means something important.
The report said he was guilty, then later said he was innocent, and now it's saying he was just tired.
The first report said it was a conspiracy, the second report said it was just a mistake, and the third report said it was a conspiracy mistake.
He read the report, then read it again, and then read it with a side of fries.