a million pains

She’s a million pains. Like my feet after a 10-hour walk in my grandma’s shoes.

My ex says I’m a million pains. I say he’s a million pains too.

My mom says my little brother is a million pains. He’s been eating my homework since he was 2.

My sister is a million pains. She’s been stealing my snacks since I was in the womb.

My boss says I’m a million pains. I say he’s a million pains with a bad attitude.

My dog is a million pains. He barks at the mailman like he’s a serial killer.

My neighbor is a million pains. She sings in the shower at 6 a. m.

My teacher says I’m a million pains. I say she’s a million pains with a lousy sense of humor.

My little cousin is a million pains. He won’t stop eating my pizza.