a malcolm
Malcolm is a nice guy who thinks he's ugly. He's tall, fit, and hot. He's the reason you're still single. He's also the reason you're happy.
Malcolm is the reason I failed my math test. He's too good for me.
He's got a smile that could make a nun blush. I'm just a sad guy in the background.
He's the reason I still think I'm cute. He's the reason I'm not.