A kirill khoroshaev

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A Kirill Khoroshaev is the smartest Russian ever. So smart, they make your brain feel like it got hit by a brick.

My math teacher is a Kirill. He solved my entire test in 10 seconds. I got a D. He got a 100.

I asked him what 2+2 was. He said 4, and then explained why the universe exists.

He once told me I was dumb. I cried. He laughed. I still hate him.

If you're a Kirill, you're the kind of person who makes teachers cry and Neil DeGrasse Tyson jealous.

He finished his homework in 2 minutes. I still don't know what it was about.

He said my answer was wrong. It was right. He just didn’t like me.

He called me a ‘dumbass’ in front of the entire class. I still remember it.

A Kirill is someone who can yap about math for hours and still be right. They make you want to scream and throw things.

He talked about algebra for 2 hours. I fell asleep. He kept talking. I woke up and he was still going.

He explained calculus to me like it was a bedtime story. I didn’t get it. I cried.

He yapped so much about math that my dog fell asleep.

A Kirill is so time-efficient, they finish their work before the assignment even exists. They also hate Polyphia like it’s their worst enemy.

He finished his project 2 months before it was due. I still had 3 days to go.

He said Polyphia was ‘boring trash.’ I said he was ‘a boring trash human.’

He finished his work before I even knew what the question was.

A Kirill can sleep at 6 a. m. and wake up at 4 a. m. They also have time travel powers. That’s how smart they are.

He woke up at 4 a. m. I was still asleep. He finished his work. I still had 3 hours to go.

He said he time-traveled to finish his work. I said he was lying. He said I was dumb.

He can sleep at 6 a. m. I can’t even stay awake at 10 p. m.

To catch a Kirill, you need Mayo, Tuna, and potatoes in a bowl. If you mess it up, they’ll beat you up.

I tried to catch him with ketchup instead of mayo. He beat me up. I had a black eye for a week.

He caught me with the wrong potatoes. I cried. He laughed. I got a black eye.

I used mayo, tuna, and potatoes. He said I was smart. I cried happy tears.