A kajillion dollars

My cousin got a kajillion dollars for being a golden retriever in a commercial. I just got a kajillion dollars for being a goldfish in a bowl. I’m not mad. I’m just disappointed.

I told my mom I wanted a kajillion dollars. She said, 'You can have a kajillion dollars when you stop eating my brains for breakfast.'

I got a kajillion dollars from my dad. He said it was because I’m rich. I said, 'You’re rich. I’m just lucky.'

My friend got a kajillion dollars from his uncle. I got a kajillion dollars from my uncle. His was real. Mine was imaginary. And he called me a disgrace.

I asked my teacher for a kajillion dollars. She said, 'You can have a kajillion dollars when you stop talking during math.'

I got a kajillion dollars from my dad. He said it was because I was a good son. I said, 'You’re a good dad. I’m just a bad son.'

My cousin got a kajillion dollars for winning a game show. I got a kajillion dollars for losing a game show. I’m not mad. I’m just confused.

I told my brother I wanted a kajillion dollars. He said, 'You can have a kajillion dollars when you stop eating my cookies.'

I got a kajillion dollars from my dad. He said it was because I was a good son. I said, 'You’re a good dad. I’m just a bad son.'