Tweet: "Jon Highbaugh walks into a restaurant. The waiter says, 'We don't serve no stinkin' bling.'"

Text: "My neighbor's a Jon Highbaugh. He pimped my dog and now he's got a hat and a sidekick."

DM: "My ex said I was a Jon Highbaugh. I said, 'You're just not a good enough sidekick.'"