a joel

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A plan that sounds like gold but ends up being the worst mistake you ever made. It’s like eating a whole cake and then crying in the shower.

I thought moving to Alaska was a good idea. Now I live in a snow cave and my toes are frozen.

That ‘get rich quick’ scheme was a scam. I’m broke and my dog knows I’m a fraud.

I signed up for a gym membership and haven’t gone once. My pants are still tight.

When someone acts like they’re leaving a party, but it’s just a Discord call and they’re being a total snob about it.

He left the call mid-conversation to go eat pizza. Classic.

She just said 'I’m out' and hung up. No explanation. Coward.

He didn’t even say goodbye. He just left. I was explaining my life.

When a person wins the lottery and gets so excited they have an orgasm. It’s like winning the lottery and also getting a free pizza.

He screamed so loud the neighbors called the cops. He won the lottery and had an orgasm.

She got the winning ticket and then cried. Then she had an orgasm. It was beautiful.

He had an orgasm and won the lottery at the same time. I think he’s a god.

A guy who is kind, handsome, and you can count on him. But if you get too close, his girlfriend will hunt you down like a beast.

He’s my best friend, but I know his girlfriend is watching me. She’s scary.

He said I could hang out with him. Then his girlfriend showed up. I ran.

He’s cool, but his girlfriend is a monster. I don’t want to be her next meal.

Like winning the lottery and having an orgasm at the same time. It’s the best day of your life, and you feel like a god.

I won the lottery and had an orgasm. I think I’m a god.

She won the lottery and had an orgasm. She’s probably a goddess.

He had an orgasm and won the lottery. That’s not normal.

A smart, funny guy who’s popular and never scared to do something crazy. But if you get too close, his girlfriend will get angry.

He’s smart and funny, but his girlfriend is a beast. I don’t want to be her next target.

He’s popular and cool. But don’t get too close. His girlfriend will come for you.

He did the impossible and won. But if I get too close, his girlfriend will eat me.

God’s dad. He’s the one who made the universe and is probably watching you right now. He’s got a lot to do.

God’s dad is watching me. I think I’m in trouble.

He’s the one who made the universe and probably knows my secrets.

God’s dad is busy. He’s got a lot of work to do.