a humphrey

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#kid#parents#annoying

3 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
A kid whose parents were screwing around before they finally got married and decided to stop acting like jerks.
My cousin is a humphrey. His parents dated for 10 years before getting married. Still not over it.
That kid in the back of the class is a humphrey. His mom and dad used to fight like cats and dogs.
My little brother is a humphrey. His parents were too busy drinking to notice he was born.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
2
A big, hairy man with a tiny weenie, a nose that looks like it was hit by a train, and eyes so big they could pop out of his head.
That guy at the bar is a humphrey. He looks like he just came out of a cave.
My uncle is a humphrey. He has a nose that could knock someone out.
That man at the gym is a humphrey. He’s got hair on his chest like a lion.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
3
A guy who’s holding onto a joint like it’s the last piece of pizza, while everyone else is waiting for their turn to smoke.
My dad is a humphrey. He holds onto a joint for 10 minutes like it’s a treasure.
That guy at the party is a humphrey. He’s been holding the bong for 20 minutes.
My brother is a humphrey. He’s holding the pipe like it’s the last cigarette in the world.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
4
A word that describes a guy’s junk, a suspicious pizza box, and a chicken that’s trying to take over the world.
That guy’s junk is a humphrey. It looks like it’s about to explode.
That pizza box is a humphrey. It’s suspicious and full of meat.
That chicken in the yard is a humphrey. It’s pecking like it wants to rule the world.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
5
The ultimate legend. He’s the man. He’s the story. Just don’t mess with his pith.
That guy is a humphrey. He’s the man. Everyone knows it.
He’s the legend. The story. The pith is sacred.
Don’t take the pith. That’s the legend.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
6
Sitting on a chair and touching yourself with a Werther’s Original like it’s the last piece of candy on Earth.
He was sitting on the chair, touching himself with a Werther’s Original. It was epic.
She was doing the humphrey thing. Sitting, touching, and eating candy.
He was doing the humphrey. Sitting. Touching. Eating.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
7
A girl who sleeps with anyone for free. A girl who dates people and then screws them after the first date. A blond skank. A piece of meat. A free BJ machine.
That girl is a humphrey. She sleeps with anyone for free.
She’s a humphrey. She dates guys and then screws them after the first date.
That blond skank is a humphrey. She’s a BJ machine.
by Slangipedia 5d ago
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