a hasselhoff

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4 views · Added 17d ago · 7 definitions

1
To zoom like a lunatic on a road, causing everyone to yell and throw things out of their windows.
My cousin hasselhoffed through the mall parking lot and nearly hit a kid on a scooter.
He did a 90 mph hasselhoff on the highway and got pulled over by a cop who was also hasselhoffing.
My mom's friend hasselhoffed through the neighborhood and woke up the entire block.
2
A man with a perfect body, a shiny head of hair, and the ability to look good even when he’s getting his butt kicked on Baywatch.
David Hasselhoff is the guy who made me believe I could look good even if I got beaten up in the ocean.
He’s like the human version of a beach poster that also knows how to fight.
He’s the reason I still think my hair looks good even when it’s all messed up.
3
To move like a slow-motion zombie, making everything look like a bad movie.
My dog hasselhoffed into the kitchen and looked like a sad, greasy movie scene.
She hasselhoffed during her presentation and made the whole class laugh.
He hasselhoffed into the classroom and looked like he was in a horror movie.
4
To chow down on greasy food while hammered, making a mess and probably throwing up.
I hasselhoffed a pizza and ended up on the floor with ketchup everywhere.
He hasselhoffed a burger and then said, 'I don’t need a shower.'
She hasselhoffed a taco and looked like she was about to pass out.
5
To sneak into someone’s computer and replace their wallpaper with a ridiculous picture of David Hasselhoff, making them scream when they come back.
My friend hasselhoffed my computer and replaced my wallpaper with a picture of David Hasselhoff in a speedo.
He hasselhoffed my sister’s laptop and she screamed when she saw the picture.
The teacher hasselhoffed my computer and I had to look at David Hasselhoff all day.
6
To go full lunatic on the road, making everyone behind you yell and throw things out of their windows.
He hasselhoffed through the highway and almost hit a bus.
My brother hasselhoffed on the highway and got pulled over by a cop who was also hasselhoffing.
She hasselhoffed through the neighborhood and made everyone stop and stare.
7
To gobble down greasy food like a drunk animal, making a mess and probably throwing up.
He hasselhoffed a pizza and ended up on the floor with ketchup everywhere.
I hasselhoffed a burger and then said, 'I don’t need a shower.'
She hasselhoffed a taco and looked like she was about to pass out.
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