a hasselhoff

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To zoom like a lunatic on a road, causing everyone to yell and throw things out of their windows.

My cousin hasselhoffed through the mall parking lot and nearly hit a kid on a scooter.

He did a 90 mph hasselhoff on the highway and got pulled over by a cop who was also hasselhoffing.

My mom's friend hasselhoffed through the neighborhood and woke up the entire block.

A man with a perfect body, a shiny head of hair, and the ability to look good even when he’s getting his butt kicked on Baywatch.

David Hasselhoff is the guy who made me believe I could look good even if I got beaten up in the ocean.

He’s like the human version of a beach poster that also knows how to fight.

He’s the reason I still think my hair looks good even when it’s all messed up.

To move like a slow-motion zombie, making everything look like a bad movie.

My dog hasselhoffed into the kitchen and looked like a sad, greasy movie scene.

She hasselhoffed during her presentation and made the whole class laugh.

He hasselhoffed into the classroom and looked like he was in a horror movie.

To chow down on greasy food while hammered, making a mess and probably throwing up.

I hasselhoffed a pizza and ended up on the floor with ketchup everywhere.

He hasselhoffed a burger and then said, 'I don’t need a shower.'

She hasselhoffed a taco and looked like she was about to pass out.

To sneak into someone’s computer and replace their wallpaper with a ridiculous picture of David Hasselhoff, making them scream when they come back.

My friend hasselhoffed my computer and replaced my wallpaper with a picture of David Hasselhoff in a speedo.

He hasselhoffed my sister’s laptop and she screamed when she saw the picture.

The teacher hasselhoffed my computer and I had to look at David Hasselhoff all day.

To go full lunatic on the road, making everyone behind you yell and throw things out of their windows.

He hasselhoffed through the highway and almost hit a bus.

My brother hasselhoffed on the highway and got pulled over by a cop who was also hasselhoffing.

She hasselhoffed through the neighborhood and made everyone stop and stare.

To gobble down greasy food like a drunk animal, making a mess and probably throwing up.

He hasselhoffed a pizza and ended up on the floor with ketchup everywhere.

I hasselhoffed a burger and then said, 'I don’t need a shower.'

She hasselhoffed a taco and looked like she was about to pass out.