A Gooner Goatee
You get stuck with a goatee because some guy decided to take a dump on your face and then laughed at you.
Charlie Follon dumped his guts on my face and called it a goatee. I called it a nightmare.
I got a goatee from a man who had no idea what a face is.
After the goatee, I was too gross to eat pizza for a week.