A Fried Toe

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A fried toe is Draco Malfoy. Stop being a brain-dead fangirl. I can see the glitter in your brain.

You’re still wearing that stupid Slytherin scarf? I thought you’d burn your face off.

You cried when he said he was going to Hogwarts. I saw it. I was there.

You still think he’s going to ask you to the Yule Ball. It’s 2025.

A fried toe is Draco Malfoy. He’s the worst. You’re the worst. Together you’re a disaster.

You still think he’s going to save you from the Whomping Willow. He’s not even good at that.

You sent him a 10-page letter. He didn’t even reply.

You still pretend you’re in the same house. You’re not even in the same universe.

A fried toe is Draco Malfoy. He’s a pain in the ass. You’re a pain in the ass. Together you’re a pain in the ass squared.

You still use that stupid wand. It’s broken. You don’t even know how to use it.

You went to the Quidditch World Cup just to see him. You got kicked out.

You still think he’s going to be the next Dark Lord. He can’t even cast a spell right.